Max Kanat-Alexander

"I'm looking for a guy who doesn't play games."

Hey, yeah, I don't play games. You'll really like me. Come on, trust me!

What a coincidence, I'm looking for a girl who's looking for a guy who doesn't play games!

What about Scrabble? Can we play Scrabble?

How about World of Warcraft? Well, I can understand that. Don't want another girlfriend in the picture.

What if I just cheat, does that work?

(feel free to continue in like fashion, in comments...)

"I'm looking for a REAL MAN!"

Wow, so the RealDoll didn't work out?

Yeah, I guess the vibrator won't take out the trash.

Hard to get that imaginary boyfriend to fulfil your needs!

Tired of all those drunken nights with drag kings? Try "REAL MAN" Brand Body Pillows!

(feel free to continue in like fashion, in comments :-) )

Here is 90% of all female online dating profiles:

"I'm a fun, down-to-earth, laid-back, easy-going, outgoing sort of girl who works hard and plays harder. My family is really important to me. I think it's the simple things in life that matter. I hate DRAMA. Are all guys full of BS? I want a guy who doesn't play games. I figured I'd try this because the bar scene is a bad place to meet people. I'm looking for a REAL MAN!"

If that made you laugh, you've probably been a male member of an online dating website at some point. :-)

Also very popular:

"I majored in psychology."
"I'm a [insert astrological sign] who loves to party!"
"I hate writing these descriptions."
"My kids are my life." (Note: That one I respect and admire, it's just very common.)
Pictures with alcohol bottles or mock drinking.
Pictures at a funny angle--possibly the one good picture of this person.

Anybody got any other good ones? :-)

-Max

So, I reactivated my Facebook account today, and was trolling around for friends. That's always a weird experience, particularly when going through the high school connections. There's the people who I only sort-of know, or whose name I remember, but I probably don't know them well enough to friend them. And on the other side, there's of course my close friends--people who I'd obviously friend without hesitation.

But then there's the people in the middle--the ones I'm not sure I want to be connected to, the ex-girlfriends or former lovers who things are a little rocky with.... I'm bound to come across their profiles--they're connected to me one way or another. It's just odd to see pictures of them, sometimes, all these years later....

Oh, and the "friends of ex-girlfriends"--that's always a strange one! I think, "Wow, do I really want to still talk to some of these people now that I don't have to?" Some of them I do, but some of them I know I really don't want to. :-)

Ah well, who thought that silly social networking sites would be such a dramatic experience! :-D

-Max

Jen is in Chicago for the week (until Friday). I called her tonight. We talked about my day, her day, and Constitutional law.

My girlfriend is awesome. :-)

-Max

I gotta girlfriend, I gotta girlfriend, I gotta girlfriend, hey hey hey hey! :-)

I would show you all pictures and everything, but I don't have any online! :-) I am going to try to convince Mark (who is now living with me) to do some photos of her. :-)

She's really great! We get along really well. :-)

-Max

I just had a really good third date. :-)

-Max

I just had a really great date. :-)

-Max

Happy Valentines Day, my friends list! :-) I love all my friends. :-)

Anybody got a girlfriend for me hidden away anywhere? :-D

-Max

As a public service to all of the world's lost bloggers, relationship-column readers, and dating-site users in the world, I have created The Date FAQ. :-)

Actually, honestly, I just got tired of answering the same relationship questions over and over, so I made a website. Enjoy. :-) Tell your friends. :-)

-Max

You know, until you've lived for a little while, you don't think about how your significant others are going to look when they get older. I mean, they're probably going to look a lot like their parents.

Do you think their parents are cute? I hope so, brother, because that's what they're going to look like. I mean, maybe you can convince yourself, "Oh, no, they're not going to look like that." And then you wait like 10 years, and then you realize, "Oh wow, they look exactly like their parents, with some tiny differences."

Now, of course, people's tastes change as they get older, so the fact that they look "like an older version of themselves" is perfectly acceptable. But not all people grow up to be exactly "an older version of themselves." Some people go through strange and drastic changes, and become...their parents!

In any case, I'm lucky, because my parents are damn good-looking. My mother looks even better in her 50's than she did at 30.

Anyhow, this has struck me recently, and I was just thinking about it, so I figured I'd post about it. People can go through really striking physical changes, sometimes!

-Max

Hey hey. So I bought a camera for Clair while she was here, and we took a bunch of pictures of our visit, starting on New Year's Eve. My mom also took a couple of pictures on Chrismas and Christmas Eve of us.

So here are the pictures: Clair's Visit.

-Max

Hey hey hey! I suppose I haven't posted much, lately. :-)

Clair is here until the 8th. If there's anybody around who'd like to meet her who hasn't yet, just let me know! We've been having a wonderful time. :-)

-Max

After our first phone conversation, I thought: I'm going to marry this girl.

After our second, I came to experience a type of love and confidence that I didn't think was possible, and she agreed.

At our third conversation, there are no longer words to describe what occurred, or the dynamic between us. In fact, it was beyond what I could actually experience physically.

So now we've talked at least five times. You just have to use your imagination.

Here's the text she sent to me, and it describes it perfectly:

"I just haven't any concept of what a life so filled with such love and prosperity will be like with you. For if my life ended tomorrow I would honestly feel so complete just from the passion we haev shared thus far alone. The words 'in love' could not describe what I feel for you. You are the blessing of all blessings. I could not have possibly deserved you from the good deeds of this life alone. You are my everything!"

-Max

Hey hey! So I'm back. :-) PMX was a lot of fun! :-) I had a lot of fun doing our skit, and I really liked meeting all of Diana's friends.

On the ride back up, Diana and I decided that we make better friends, and so we're just friends now. We're both very happy about it, actually. :-) We then proceeded to talk about lots of awesome stuff. :-)

-Max

( Read more... )

In other news, I recently had a really interesting insight into the fact that I tend to love people sort of unconditionally. I mean people in general, not just people I "love" love. Like, when somebody does something wrong, even if it hurts me, I think, "Wow, that's too bad that they did that. I bet they're unhappy." I tend to be concerned for them, really.

And as a result, I just am never a part of a fight that anybody is having with me! I mean, heck, I'm not a saint. :-) I've gotten mad at people before! I've said bad things about people, and wished them ill, and all that. But in the long run, I tend to fall back to a viewpoint that I'd really like to help them out if I could, and I'm willing to do a lot in order to do that.

So somebody could be looking at me and thinking, "Oh man, I really hurt him, and now we're fighting," and then they call me up and I'm like, "Hi friend! Wow, I love you!" Sometimes we were fighting, and it just ended for me one day. So to me, I'm like, "Hey, friend! Yay!" And sometimes in return they're like, "But no! I hurt you! We have to fight now!" Or sometimes, "No, I was hurt by you, we have to fight now!" (because I'm not always blameless in these things). But that situation (where I've hurt somebody) is almost easier, because I can just listen and understand.

See, I think this is what differentiates me from other people in this area. I think that a lot of people think that when they've been hurt, they ought to carry it around with them for the rest of eternity. I dunnow, to me that's like "Oh crap, I stabbed myself, and now I've got to keep this knife in my leg forever!" I dunnow, just take the knife out, patch it up, and keep walking--it's a nice day outside!

***

I was reading about Ananda a bit (and if you don't know who that was, he was one of the Buddha Guatama Siddartha's disciples), and one of the things they said about him was that he had no enemies. And the writer was saying that this was so remarkable, because Ananda dealt with so many people every day, how could he have no enemies? Well, you see, I think that maybe he did have people who disliked him, or were angry with him, or would consider that he was their enemy. But for him, not having an enemy was a simple matter of decision! For somebody to be an enemy, you have to look at them and think, "Oh, that person is my enemy." And even if they were angry at him or disliked him, he could talk to them about it and handle it.

Not having enemies is just a matter of (1) not "having" enemies (2) not making enemies and (3) fixing up the situation any time you create an enemy.

So see, really, he wasn't a magical saint. He was just a nice guy who really liked people. And that's something that anybody can be, I think.

I've really been trying to un-make any enemies that I have made, myself. I've certainly made a few mistakes and hurt a few people, but I'm certainly sorry and I'd like to make it up to them if I could, whatever they'd like.

-Max

When I'm in a relationship, people are always coming up to me and going, "You have such great relationships. How do you doooooo that?" Usually, I just sort of shrug and say, "I dunnow." Really, I just didn't want to take the time to explain it. :-)

So finally, finally I decided to write it down, blah blah blah, words on page. :-) So here you go, Successful Relationship Stuff:

( Relationship Guidelines )

For a long time I've been in doubt about whether I wanted to just be with somebody for right now, or whether I wanted to hold out for a relationship that would work in the long term.

Today I've decided that I don't really want to be one of the people who is dating people "just for now." I'd rather be one of the people who are looking only for a real relationship that they know has a future.

-Max

So, if you've ever used OKCupid (or any other online "matching" site), you might appreciate my Guide to OKCupid Profiles.

-Max

A lot of people think that a relationship is about sex, but really, it's exactly the opposite: sex is about a relationship.

-Max